What is Post-Separation Abuse?

"While domestic violence often takes place behind closed doors, Post Separation Abuse takes place in a new venue: the Family Court System."

What is post separation abuse? For many, it is worse than the abuse (domestic violence) suffered during the relationship or marriage. Domestic violence is about power and control. That deep-seated need for power and control does not mysteriously vanish when the relationship ends. During the relationship, the victim often feels better equipped to protect the children. After the relationship ends, and the victim enters the family court system, their natural instincts to protect their children are harnessed. The domestic violence victim is actually penalized for attempting to protect their young and often, accused of “alienation.” Protection is NOT alienation. (This is not opinion, this is evidence based: see the research of Joan Meier). While domestic violence often takes place behind closed doors, post separation abuse takes place in a new venue: the family court system.
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Post-separation abuse does not just affect the victim, it has both immediate and long-lasting effects on children resulting in high adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). ACE’s, a term used to describe any traumatic event during childhood such as divorce, violence, emotional abuse, neglect, substance abuse or even an environment that undermines a child’s sense of bonding or stability. The ACE Study (The Center for Disease Control and Kaiser Permanente) should be the courtroom bible for judges and other family court professionals who are tasked with the responsibility of acting in the best interest of children.

While there are many resources available to victims of DV during the relationship, the only resource available to victims of post separation abuse is the family court system itself (judges, mediators, minor’s counsel, custody evaluators, therapists, co-parenting counselors, parenting coordinators and attorneys). It is so important for those in the family court system to be educated on post-separation abuse and to recognize it in high-conflict divorces, custody battles and paternity cases. (Source: One Mom's Battle)
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Family Court Still Failing Mothers And Children, Says Report

The report found a culture in the courts promoting contact between fathers and children "at all costs", ahead of considerations of safety of the mother and children, and the minimization of abuse.

The report has found that the justice system is still failing domestic abuse survivors and their children. It reveals that despite some progress, not enough work has been done towards the transformed system that the Harm Panel recommended, and that there is evidence of progress stalling, even reversing.
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Women's Aid state that domestic abuse survivors and support workers told them that they have continued to be disbelieved, that children have continued to be forced into unsafe contact arrangements with abusive parents, and that perpetrators have continued to use child arrangement proceedings as a form of post-separation abuse.
Key findings included:
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• All of the survivors contributing to the report felt that their children's thoughts, wishes or feelings had not been listened to or acted upon;
• An underlying culture of misogyny, mother-blaming and victim-blaming continues in the family courts;
• Women continue to be accused of "parental alienation" when they raise valid concerns around domestic abuse and child safety;
• Family court proceedings continue to be trauma-inducing, rather than trauma-aware.

"The current system, based on misogyny, victim-blaming, and a lack of understanding trauma is as tragic as it is unacceptable: we must show women and children that they will be listened to, believed and supported." - Farah Nazeer, chief executive of Women's Aid.

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Spain: UN experts denounce child custody decision that ignores evidence of sexual abuse

GENEVA (February 28, 2022) – The recent decision by a Spanish court granting custody of a seven-year-old girl to her father, despite allegations of sexual abuse against him, places the child at grave risk and appears to be a miscarriage of justice, UN experts* said today.

“We are deeply concerned that this is not an isolated problem, as we continue to receive information on cases in Spain and other countries of mothers losing custody, and sometimes even facing prison, for attempting to protect their children from abusive fathers,” the experts said.
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Children in Spain continue to be exposed to risk of violence and sexual abuse by a judicial system that appears to favour male parents in custody cases, even in cases where there is a history of domestic violence or evidence of abuse against children and their mothers.

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Intimate partner violence against women is an essential factor in the determination of child custody, say women’s rights experts

​(May 31, 2019 - www.ohchr.org) The Platform of undersigned United Nations and regional independent mechanisms on violence against women and women’s rights voiced its concern over patterns across various jurisdictions of the world that ignore intimate partner violence against women in determining child custody cases. These patterns reveal underlying discriminatory gender bias and harmful gender stereotypes against women. Ignoring intimate partner violence against women in the determination of child custody can result in serious risks to the children and thus must be considered to ensure and grant their effective protection.

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The Facilitating System of the Family Court

(Nov 17, 2021 - Grant Wyeth) Globally there are a number of common traits that family courts are exhibiting which is making it incredibly difficult for mothers to protect their children from abusive fathers. I highlighted what I have been seeing as three structural issues that are leading to these brutal and often fatal decisions that family courts are making

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