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custody:(n) the protective care of someone or something ... including our community, the earth, our children
—and each other.
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We must design our systems so that the natural outcome is the protection and wellbeing of children, and all those who stand up to protect them.
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An intersectional approach to replacing cycles of violence with natural cycles of health, healing & regeneration ― for the benefit of all.
We created Custody Peace years ago to raise awareness around coercive control and how this impacts the conditions in our homes and throughout our world, including in our schools, workplaces, legal system, various institutions and our planet as a whole. On this journey, we studied the patterns of micro (family violence) and macro level (all forms of institutional violence & betrayal) and like so many before us, found that the tactics and patterns of abusers & oppressors around the globe on both levels are the same.
Their degenerative tactics are rooted in the need for domination and a goal to separate their victims from truth, nature, health, care, support, family, land, culture, resources and from oneself. In both cases, systems are weaponized, DARVO tactics are almost always present (to control the narrative) and in far too many cases, the deliberate harm of children is the clear intention. It is historically all by design.
Our goal is to continue to bear witness to the experiences of survivors throughout the globe (now, with a broader, intersectional view) and do our small part in supporting a broader awakening towards true liberation for all (every child, every human, every living thing).
Our vision is an optimistic one; that one day soon, the destructive and degenerative cycles of violence are replaced with natural cycles of health, healing and regeneration in our homes, communities and planet, for the benefit of every living, interdependent thing (that’s all of us).
We aren’t perfect, we don’t strive to be, however we do strive to continue to unlearn, listen, evolve, see and speak up for the truth and for the human rights of all survivors of our degenerative systems (that’s all of us). We also strive to do this with an intersectional, child-centered view, inspired by solutions found in natural living systems (that live within and around us) and the wisdom of those who came before us.
Thank you to our evolving community for your solidarity and for being on this collective, optimistic, resilient journey together towards peace in our homes and our world.
Their degenerative tactics are rooted in the need for domination and a goal to separate their victims from truth, nature, health, care, support, family, land, culture, resources and from oneself. In both cases, systems are weaponized, DARVO tactics are almost always present (to control the narrative) and in far too many cases, the deliberate harm of children is the clear intention. It is historically all by design.
Our goal is to continue to bear witness to the experiences of survivors throughout the globe (now, with a broader, intersectional view) and do our small part in supporting a broader awakening towards true liberation for all (every child, every human, every living thing).
Our vision is an optimistic one; that one day soon, the destructive and degenerative cycles of violence are replaced with natural cycles of health, healing and regeneration in our homes, communities and planet, for the benefit of every living, interdependent thing (that’s all of us).
We aren’t perfect, we don’t strive to be, however we do strive to continue to unlearn, listen, evolve, see and speak up for the truth and for the human rights of all survivors of our degenerative systems (that’s all of us). We also strive to do this with an intersectional, child-centered view, inspired by solutions found in natural living systems (that live within and around us) and the wisdom of those who came before us.
Thank you to our evolving community for your solidarity and for being on this collective, optimistic, resilient journey together towards peace in our homes and our world.
The 60+ Most Impactful Contributions to Disrupting Cycles of Family Violence and Promoting the Safety and Well-being of Children (2021-2023)
We are so proud of everyone from around the globe who provided their time, energy, heart and soul to collectively achieve the 60+ incredibly significant contributions that have helped to make the the world safer for children within our legal system over the last three years.
It is our extreme hope (and urging) that this momentum continues on a broader scale to ensure that the lives and human rights of all beings are protected and that all victims of oppression continue to rise together to cultivate more health and peace throughout our world.
As we know, on a micro and macro level, the tactics of abusers/oppressors are the same. They are rooted in the perpetuation of separation from health, support, family, land, culture, truth, and from oneself. When we all prioritize human rights and protection from violence and abuse, we empower, support collective healing, and the healing of our communities and planet in every way imaginable.
May these evolutions be a pathway to the larger movement in our world where cycles of abuse/oppression are replaced with natural cycles of health, peace, regeneration and liberation for all.
It is our extreme hope (and urging) that this momentum continues on a broader scale to ensure that the lives and human rights of all beings are protected and that all victims of oppression continue to rise together to cultivate more health and peace throughout our world.
As we know, on a micro and macro level, the tactics of abusers/oppressors are the same. They are rooted in the perpetuation of separation from health, support, family, land, culture, truth, and from oneself. When we all prioritize human rights and protection from violence and abuse, we empower, support collective healing, and the healing of our communities and planet in every way imaginable.
May these evolutions be a pathway to the larger movement in our world where cycles of abuse/oppression are replaced with natural cycles of health, peace, regeneration and liberation for all.
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“In this critical point in the history of humankind, the irreducible needs of all children can offer a unifying ethic by which the cultures of our interdependent world might reorder their priorities."
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- Raffi Cavoukian, Child Honouring
Report of the United Nations Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls, its causes and consequences, Reem Alsalem Published on April 13, 2023 and Submitted to the UN Human Rights Council.
This report was presented at the UN Human Rights Council Fifty-third session on June 23, 2023 #HRC53
This report was presented at the UN Human Rights Council Fifty-third session on June 23, 2023 #HRC53
Custody, violence against women and violence against children
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Summary: The present report of the Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls, its causes and consequences, Reem Alsalem, is submitted to the Human Rights Council pursuant to resolution 50/7. The report addresses the link between custody cases, violence against women and violence against children, with a focus on the abuse of the term “parental alienation” and similar pseudo-concepts.
Agenda item 3: Promotion and protection of all human rights, civil, political, economic, social and cultural rights, including the right to development Custody, violence against women and violence against children - Report of the Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls, its causes and consequences, Reem Alsalem |
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"The report demonstrates how the discredited and unscientific pseudo-concept of parental alienation is used in family law proceedings by abusers as a tool to continue their abuse and coercion and to undermine and discredit allegations of domestic violence made by mothers who are trying to keep their children safe. It also shows how the standard of the best interest of the child is violated by imposing contact between a child and one or both parents and by prioritizing it, even where there is evidence of domestic violence. Predominantly as a result of the lack of training and gender bias and of access to legal support, the custody of children may be awarded to perpetrators of violence, despite evidence of a history of domestic and/or sexual abuse. The risks of such consequences are compounded for women from marginalized groups in society. The report elaborates on systemic issues that lead to additional barriers to justice. Judges and evaluators need to move away from focusing on the identification of behaviours that are contested within the discipline of psychology and towards a focus on the specific facts and contexts of each case."
9th Meeting - 53rd Regular Session of Human Rights Council
Custody, violence against women and violence against children Report of the United Nations Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls, its causes and consequences, Reem Alsalem Published on April 13, 2023 and Submitted to the UN Human Rights Council
This report was presented at the UN General Assembly UN Human Rights Council Fifty-third session on Friday, June 23 at 4am ET (New York) #HRC53
This report was presented at the UN General Assembly UN Human Rights Council Fifty-third session on Friday, June 23 at 4am ET (New York) #HRC53
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California Governor Signs Rubio’s SB 331- Piqui’s Law, Groundbreaking Legislation Reforming Family Courts - October 13, 2023
Custody Peace was a proud supporter of Piqui's Law, The Keeping Children Safe From Family Violence Act (modeled after Federal Kayden's Law in the Violence Against Women's Act Reauthorization, signed March 15, 2021. It is the intent of the Legislature to increase the priority given to child safety in any state court divorce, separation, visitation, paternity, child support, civil protection order, or family custody court proceeding affecting the custody and care of children.
Featured Educational Resources
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This is part 2 of a new series from Dr. Emma Katz, Explaining Coercive Control to People Who Don't Quite Get It. Part 1 can be read here.
This series will explain why the common responses that people have to victims-survivors and to perpetrators are often based on misunderstandings, and how these misunderstandings can be really harmful and hurtful for victims-survivors (and helpful and emboldening for perpetrators). "It is my hope that readers might be able to show this to someone in their life who doesn’t quite understand coercive control, and that it might be eye opening for people who previously haven’t read much around this subject but who are willing to learn about it now. It is also my hope that victims-survivors who’ve been on the receiving end of harmful or hurtful responses will feel validated by what they are about to read in these pieces." - Emma Katz |
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What is Post Separation Abuse? The use of systems intended to protect you, to control you.
This article examines Post Separation Coercive Control, the Family Court System and the weaponization of various other institutions. Written by Custody Peace with contribution and advisement from Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, Doctor of Clinical Social Welfare, Coercive Control Educator/Researcher, and Dr. Emma Katz, Global Coercive Control Expert and Author of “Coercive Control in Children’s and Mothers’ Lives”.
As stated by Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola:
“Coercive controllers very often seek out weapons to retain or regain their control. A choice weapon is the very systems intended to protect victims and survivors, such as the criminal justice and judicial system. The coercive controller weaponizes these systems to further inflict harm on his target. All too often, the systems themselves are complicit in this abuse, simply due to the patriarchal ideology in place. Systemic coercive control can be the most traumatic experience for individuals who have experienced abuse. When abusers use the system, with false accusations or to further inflict financial or legal abuse, victims trapped in this cycle of abuse, have no escape. Child Protective Services (CPS) is one such system, intended to protect children from abuse and neglect, is weaponized to further traumatize victims. Very often, coercive controllers will manufacture false allegations against a protective parent/coercive control victim simply for revenge. Revenge. It becomes the final weapon used by all coercive controllers. — ‘If I cannot control you, then I will use the systems intended to protect you, to control you.’”
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Custody Peace was a Proud Host Partner of the Allen v. Farrow Panel Series
REPLAYS NOW STREAMING VIA JANE DOE FILMS
We were a proud host partner of this impactful discussion series. Jane Doe Films invites you to "Allen v. Farrow & Family Courts," a virtual panel discussion. This discussion will focus on the need for improving child protection in family courts through legislation at both the state and federal levels. The 7-Emmy nominated series, Allen v. Farrow, it is available now on HBO. |
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RESEARCH: Confronting the Challenge of High-Conflict Personality in Family Court via Santa Clara Law
“The optimal means for resolving these cases lies in recognizing that the high-conflict party is drawn to the conflict, rather than to settlement, and devising effective means of disengaging and de-escalating the dispute.”
This empirical study focuses on family law cases that involve a litigant with a personality disorder and that drag on for years despite reasonable options for resolution. Informed by the relatively sparse literature on high-conflict personalities in the family law system, Professor Oberman and her co-authors interviewed experienced family law practitioners, family law judges, and a seasoned custody evaluator with the goal of increasing knowledge about the harms associated with high-conflict personalities in the family law system, the forces that perpetuate these protracted disputes, and possible means to ameliorate the problem. Professor Oberman and her colleagues report on the major themes that emerged from their interviews with family law experts and propose a series of reforms suggested by these findings.
This empirical study focuses on family law cases that involve a litigant with a personality disorder and that drag on for years despite reasonable options for resolution. Informed by the relatively sparse literature on high-conflict personalities in the family law system, Professor Oberman and her co-authors interviewed experienced family law practitioners, family law judges, and a seasoned custody evaluator with the goal of increasing knowledge about the harms associated with high-conflict personalities in the family law system, the forces that perpetuate these protracted disputes, and possible means to ameliorate the problem. Professor Oberman and her colleagues report on the major themes that emerged from their interviews with family law experts and propose a series of reforms suggested by these findings.